Only love can break your heart | lostinmyownhome's Blog

     The stress of my job (and everything else) is really getting to me.  I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, hope that is actually true.  Work was non-stop yesterday, no time to even read my newspaper.  And I had to work late last night.  Got up this morning, cleaned the house a little, washed the dishes.  Work called this morning, I have to be in Kalamazoo tomorrow at 7:30, for a mandatory safety meeting.  That will give me 3 1/2 hours of overtime, for starting early.  I just did all the laundry, 18 loads over the weekend, but I will have to wash the jeans I wore yesterday.  Don't want to go to a meeting with all the bosses with holey jeans on.       The kittens go to the vet tomorrow, to get fixed and de-clawed.  They sure are rambunctious, always running, climbing, jumping...  wish I had their energy.      I am still having trouble letting go of my marriage.  My wife(?) spent a lot of the weekend with me, watching tv while the laundry was going, I cooked us some food, we went shopping...   of course she was constantly texting someone, probably her "boyfriend".  I never wanted our marriage to end, I still don't.  All I want is for someone to love me.  The job used to be easier to handle back when I thought I had someone at home waiting for me to arrive.  But now I know that she was probably dreading my arrival, thinking my presence would interfere with her love life.  I just don't know what to do.           I know that I should quit smoking, and use the cigarette money to help catch up on my bills, but I am so stressed right now, I think I would go crazy without a smoke now and then.     Gotta go, time to get in the shower and head for work.  Hope today will be better than yesterday.